someday i will
tell my children the story
of when i was cruel

omitting finer details
but recalling trips out
the R5 i never spoke about

it felt like cheating not
when i woke up with
her but when

i notched my finger carefully
into her lower spine
in the small secret place

i had only ever known
with you the soft
droning of my telephone

muted by the padding
of a discarded brassiere
which was not the right size

and how the ways in which
i can offer myself will
never be quite the same

i will talk instead
in vagueries about
mistakes and misspent youth

though truth be told
i always have spent it
exactly how i pleased

i will kiss them
goodnight go to
bed as a man

who seems a stranger
now and will be
moreso then

it's unbecoming to crave
so much wisdom at twenty-three
they called burroughs
a petri dish for the human experience

happiness in the resplendent
concupiscent now i don't
have anything to say until
i wake up with you

who can match me
joy for joy as
i unwind like
a wirebird

its taken me till now
to listen like schwitters
but now all i hear is flying spittle
wagging tongues and flapping lips

we will begin o-wer pre boarding process
at this time

the simple joy of stumbing

who pleasures you?

good evening ladies and gentlemen
welcome to delta flight 1160 - going to
"with service to atlanta,
we'd like to begin our pre-boarding process"
Noooo no no no non nooo

We'd like to board only the retards and gimps -

THERE'S NOBODY HERE

but it doesn't hurt to practice

we've talked about opening up a brothel
i'd treat them well
those ladies


aquarian
libran

initiator running ideas
through the meat grinder
of my sickness or
genius or
whatever you call it

APTITUDE APTITUDE
electric
stradling
capitol sqaure

don't cut your hair you balding fuck

we analogue to
what we touch the most
and i love to occupy
the spaces between
what we see and
how we say it
i do not try to
make sense of the
people that love me

lately i am thinking of
databases and spreadsheets
and the ocean of
our aboriginal unconscious
and how a single word can
touch everything and coat it
in oil like an offshore drill

and i remember not
giving a fuck about anything
but the thought of how
that cloud must have bloomed
in the gulf like a
carcinogenic rorschach test

and how beautiful that must have been

the unbalance of humours
blacke and cloying



it won't happen to me

what i would give
to see you
down by the mississippi
river like john berryman

everyone knows
i gt this story
2nd hand but in
our internet age and
still i have
no pictures of you

that night i sucked
brown honey
from the earth
kissed the man
with the roving billboard
moved to
a vagrant saxophone

my words maybe
make you dance
maybe just measure
your quaking like
a seismograph

how difficult for me
when you only
must stand and drip
as i solder on wings
tarred and feathered

to hear you shriek
to smell the cauterizing
of your alabaster skin
to see you
fly away

we who give permission
we who bring out the soul
in those who have it
and the fear
in those who don't

I'm so sorry my dear,
I haven't written you
since June.

So much to tell,
No way to say it.

Perhaps I should just
give up
and
write something that rhymes.